Hanami Prints Blog: Learning to Live Without Our Children » bereaved parents

A Small Victory: Helping Newly Bereaved Parents Create Memories with their Children

hanamipapa — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:56:31 +0000

A Small Victory is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization providing hospitals and other birth professionals with CARE (Compassionately Alleviating Regret Everyday) Packages which gently guide newly bereaved parents in creating memories with their children that will last a lifetime. Founded by Liz and Ethan Allen, A Small Victory also pledges to open their hearts and lend an ear to all who are in need of an understanding friend.

A Small Victory relies on generous contributions and devoted support from the community to continue the services they provide. It is their hope and dream, that their organization will be A Small Victory for bereaved parents everywhere by turning misfortune into memories.

Founded in 2006 A Small Victory has helped over 200 families spanning across 42 States, 3 Canadian Territories and the UK. It is wonderful to watch this great organization grow from year to year. The CARE (Compassionately Alleviating Regret Everyday) Packages are a much needed addition to the labor and delivery ward for parents who have experienced a loss.

Care (Compassionately Alleviating Regret Everyday) Packages

Certificate of Birth
Camera
Footprint Card
Hair Clipping Card
Journal
and much more…

Please visit A Small Victory’s Care Package page to get a complete list of items and a detailed description of each.

Useful Links:

A Small Victory is doing important work. I’ve lost count of how many families I’ve heard say, we wish we had something tangible to remember our baby by. Simply when in the whirlwind and shock of grief, you do not think about obtaining a keepsake. Fortunately for us one nurse asked if she could take pictures of our son–thankfully we have a few snapshots to remember him by.

Have you or anyone you know received A Small Victory’s Care Package? What do you think about their mission?

Faith’s Lodge: A Place Where Hope Grows

hanamipapa — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:56:18 +0000

Faith’s Lodge provides a place where parents and families facing the serious illness or death of a child can retreat to reflect on the past, renew strength for the present, and build hope for the future.

Faith’s Lodge is located on 80 acres of the lush north Wisconsin forest. With eight beautifully designed guest suites, each accommodating up-to six people, Faith’s Lodge is a wonderful place for bereaved families to reflect and heal. In addition to the serene surroundings and cozy accommodations, Faith’s Lodge also provides optional activities such as “professionally-led discussion groups, therapeutic arts and crafts and north woods adventures.”

In operation since July 2007, Faith’s Lodge has served over 300 families and is the only facility of its kind in the country. Operating as a 501(c)3 non-profit organization, Faith’s Lodge offers these wonderful services at a minimum donation of $25 per night. “However, no one will ever be turned away for financial reasons.”

Download the Faith’s Lodge brochure here.
Download the Faith’s Lodge brochure for professionals here.

Other Useful Links:

Nominate Faith’s Lodge for the Chase Community Giving Contest on Facebook!

I just found out about this organization today and the whole concept has blown me away! Our family would have benefited tremendously from this healing retreat. A safe place away from the world, quiet, serene and surrounded by nature would have done the heart and soul some serious good during those first few painful years.

So today I am passing this message onto any eyes and ears that will take note. Spread the word about Faith’s Lodge and help nominate them for the Chase Community Giving Contest on Facebook! Faith’s Lodge has a wonderful opportunity to win more than $1,000,000 through the Chase Community Giving Contest with the assistance of Facebook users.

For all of you Twitter types out there copy and paste this message “Join me in voting for Faith’s Lodge to win more than $1 million in the Chase
Giving contest! Visit http://bit.ly/A3DZw“

What do you think about Faith’s Lodge mission? Would you have benefited from their healing retreat? Leave your thoughts below.

Capturing a Short Life Documetary Film Trailer

hanamipapa — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 16:49:30 +0000

Capturing a Short Life is a beautiful documentary about families dealing with infant loss and how important it is to remember and celebrate all of the tiny lives lost so soon.

Originally airing in December 2008 in Canada, Capturing a Short Life is powerfully moving. Shows people who haven’t experienced a child loss why it is important to for us to remember and talk about our children. One father said it best in the trailer “we love to talk about her because she was a person.”

Having known first-hand the pain of losing a child so young, we started Hanami Prints to provide bereaved parents and families the smallest of comforts through meaningful and personal keepsakes. We understand how important it is to remember and know of few places to find quality and thoughtful items to mark our childrens’ short lives.

Useful Links:

Capturing a Short Life– if you missed the documentary you can purchase the DVD from their site.
Hanami Prints– Our products

What did you think of the trailer? Did you watch the documentary? How was it received friends, family and the media?

Faith’s Lodge: A Place Where Hope Grows

Grief Support After the Death of a Child: The Compassionate Friends

hanamipapa — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:21:30 +0000

The Compassionate Friends is a support group dedicated to help families following the death of a child of any age. Incorporated in 1978, The Compassionate friends began with a chaplain, Simon Stephens, and a set of grieving parents at a hospital in Warwhickshire, England. Chaplain Stephens realized that the support these grieving parents gave to each other was better than anything he could have provided.

Mission
The mission of The Compassionate Friends is to assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child of any age and to provide information to help others be supportive…

With more than 600 meeting locations around the country, The Compassionate Friends deliver in building an emotional support group of grieving families whom all share in dealing with the devastating loss of a child. Meetings are not moderated by therapists but instead bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents in all stages of the grieving process.

I first heard about The Compassionate Friends through an old schoolmate who lost her son a few days after giving birth to him six years ago. To date, she is still very active in her local chapter assisting in fundraisers and community events. What I was most impressed by was that shortly after her son passed, she was taken to a meeting being held within the same hospital and was immediately embraced both physically and spiritually–the group sobbed together and let her know she was not alone. Crying together, my friend told me that she was so thankful that there was a group of people out there to help her walk the difficult path of grieving her son.

Useful Links:

Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support (SPALS)

hanamipapa — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:43:26 +0000

Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support (SPALS) is a closed email-based, community support group that has given thousands of grieving parents a safe and compassionate forum to connect and share experiences with others who know the depths of grieving a child and the fears associated with subsequent pregnancy. Whether you have experienced “the loss of a child due to miscarriage, selective termination, stillbirth, neonatal death, sudden infant death, or accidental death,” SPALS offers an extremely active and supportive community to those currently pregnant, trying to become pregnant, or contemplating trying again after loss.

How active and supportive?

Very! Within moments of my wife posting her first email to the group there was an outpouring of support from members all over the world letting her know that we were not alone. It has been over three years since that first email and I can tell you the momentum and strength of the group hasn’t slowed a bit.

Shortly after the passing of her first child, due to severe preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome, Sarah Grimes Founded SPALS in December 1995. Sarah is still very much a part of SPALS and is one of two list administrators.

Sarah shares her experience “The Life and Death of Haven, our Beloved Daughter.”

Conclusion

SPALS is a wonderful support group that has been a tremendous resource. Its members have helped us through some of the darkest times. There are many support groups out there, but SPALS offers an atmosphere of intimacy and privacy that is very comforting and reassuring.

Useful Links:

SPALS Home – Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support
SPALS Faq – Frequently asked questions
Join SPALS – Join SPALS now
Sarah Grimes – For general enquiries and history of SPALS

Do you have a story to share about SPALS? What would you tell our readers looking to join a support group? What support groups have you found most helpful?

No Word for Us

hanamipapa — Tue, 26 May 2009 15:25:09 +0000

There is a saying, though few have probably heard it, that expresses an oversight of the English language — a missing word to describe a pain and a grief that should never be: “a wife who loses a husband is a widow; a child who loses a parent is an orphan. But there is no word for a parent who loses a child.” As malleable and ever-changing as our language is, why is there no word for us? The tragedy of a child’s death is nothing new — too many parents throughout time have buried their babies, their toddlers, their teenagers, their adult children years before their own deaths. Since Nicolas died, it seems I hear about a mother who has just buried her child almost daily — not because these deaths are happening more often but because I pay attention now, having survived my own son. It is a commonly agreed upon truth in our society that no death is as tragic as a child’s, no grief as deep as a parent’s. So, again, why is there no word for us?

A child who precedes her parents to the grave goes against the natural order of things — it shatters our illusions of what is fair and what is right. A baby should not lose his life before his first breath. The young should not die before the old. I struggled with these truths for a long time after Nicolas died, struggled with the knowledge that I had already received the gift of three decades of life — thirty years of sunrises and sunsets, holidays with my family, swimming in a cool river on a hot day, traveling to new places, experiencing first and second and third loves — while my infant son received nothing. It is not natural, it is not fair, it is not right. Is this the reason there is no word for us — because burying a child is so unnatural, so appalling, that we cannot name it?

In an interesting article to mark Memorial Day, journalist Karla Holloway attempts to name our grief, to name the unspeakable loss of a child. After losing her child, Holloway searches the world’s languages and settles on a Sanskrit word, “vilomah,” which means “against the natural order.” While “vilomah” may never catch on, it would give some comfort to have our grief, our loss, openly named.

Parents deserve word to convey loss of a child

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