Hanami Prints Blog: Learning to Live Without Our Children » Child Death

Faith’s Lodge: A Place Where Hope Grows

hanamipapa — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 00:56:18 +0000

Faith’s Lodge provides a place where parents and families facing the serious illness or death of a child can retreat to reflect on the past, renew strength for the present, and build hope for the future.

Faith’s Lodge is located on 80 acres of the lush north Wisconsin forest. With eight beautifully designed guest suites, each accommodating up-to six people, Faith’s Lodge is a wonderful place for bereaved families to reflect and heal. In addition to the serene surroundings and cozy accommodations, Faith’s Lodge also provides optional activities such as “professionally-led discussion groups, therapeutic arts and crafts and north woods adventures.”

In operation since July 2007, Faith’s Lodge has served over 300 families and is the only facility of its kind in the country. Operating as a 501(c)3 non-profit organization, Faith’s Lodge offers these wonderful services at a minimum donation of $25 per night. “However, no one will ever be turned away for financial reasons.”

Download the Faith’s Lodge brochure here.
Download the Faith’s Lodge brochure for professionals here.

Other Useful Links:

Nominate Faith’s Lodge for the Chase Community Giving Contest on Facebook!

I just found out about this organization today and the whole concept has blown me away! Our family would have benefited tremendously from this healing retreat. A safe place away from the world, quiet, serene and surrounded by nature would have done the heart and soul some serious good during those first few painful years.

So today I am passing this message onto any eyes and ears that will take note. Spread the word about Faith’s Lodge and help nominate them for the Chase Community Giving Contest on Facebook! Faith’s Lodge has a wonderful opportunity to win more than $1,000,000 through the Chase Community Giving Contest with the assistance of Facebook users.

For all of you Twitter types out there copy and paste this message “Join me in voting for Faith’s Lodge to win more than $1 million in the Chase
Giving contest! Visit http://bit.ly/A3DZw“

What do you think about Faith’s Lodge mission? Would you have benefited from their healing retreat? Leave your thoughts below.

Grief Support After the Death of a Child: The Compassionate Friends

hanamipapa — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:21:30 +0000

The Compassionate Friends is a support group dedicated to help families following the death of a child of any age. Incorporated in 1978, The Compassionate friends began with a chaplain, Simon Stephens, and a set of grieving parents at a hospital in Warwhickshire, England. Chaplain Stephens realized that the support these grieving parents gave to each other was better than anything he could have provided.

Mission
The mission of The Compassionate Friends is to assist families toward the positive resolution of grief following the death of a child of any age and to provide information to help others be supportive…

With more than 600 meeting locations around the country, The Compassionate Friends deliver in building an emotional support group of grieving families whom all share in dealing with the devastating loss of a child. Meetings are not moderated by therapists but instead bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents in all stages of the grieving process.

I first heard about The Compassionate Friends through an old schoolmate who lost her son a few days after giving birth to him six years ago. To date, she is still very active in her local chapter assisting in fundraisers and community events. What I was most impressed by was that shortly after her son passed, she was taken to a meeting being held within the same hospital and was immediately embraced both physically and spiritually–the group sobbed together and let her know she was not alone. Crying together, my friend told me that she was so thankful that there was a group of people out there to help her walk the difficult path of grieving her son.

Useful Links:

What Do You Call Your Child Now?

HanamiMama — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 07:23:47 +0000

In the months after Nicolas died, I scoured the Internet for information: medical information on the cause of his death, statistical information on how many babies die in this way, grief information on what to expect next, and support information on how to live without my son. I became intimate with a world I never knew existed, a world of mothers, fathers, grandparents and siblings struggling with the impossible loss of a child. I spent countless nights until four in the morning reading stories of women like me – women who couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t do anything but read stories of women like them. I noticed a common theme: many mothers referred to their children as “angels,” especially when their children died as infants or toddlers. Whether Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, Atheist or Agnostic, it didn’t seem to matter.

I resisted the temptation to give Nicolas this name. I imagined myself years from now, an old woman, no living children, no grandchildren, just a curio cabinet full of winged figurines supplicating in the most uncomfortable positions. It seemed too easy, too obvious, to call my infant son an angel. Yet, I was at a loss for what else to call him. I’m not talking about his given name; I am talking about a metaphor for my dead baby that softens the shocking sound of “my dead baby.” Something that helps me cope with his unfair and unimaginable death. “Angel” has become my cushion.

I now accept and even embrace my chosen metaphor for Nicolas. Nicolas was as close to perfection as is possible. When he was first born, I was absorbed with his silent, gentle presence. I felt the hush of the sacred in the delivery room. I hesitated to touch him for fear of disturbing his purity. Nicolas did not live long enough to keep me up all night with his colic, throw his Cheerios on the carpet, play his music too loud, or put a dent in my car the first time I let him drive it. He did not live long enough to secure his place amongst the fallen ranks of humanity like the rest of us. Nicolas slipped silently into this world from a place of perfection, lingered a moment, and then slipped silently back into the dark. For me, no other word but “angel” can describe Nicolas.

I don’t own a curio cabinet or a porcelain angel – not yet.